My Facebook posting of
Monday, April 27, 2015 at 1:14pm CDT
Josephine Beep Sullivan
Strengthened by Faith… The other day, after a run on the seawall, I was so saddened before my run by seeing Craig crying over the loss of Nina (when I got back in my car I shut the door looked out over gulf waters and then up to the sky, screaming at the top of my lungs. I must admit, something I didn’t think I would or could ever do) I sat in my car thinking: Where are you, mommy? Where are you my Nina? Daddy and I are lost (I was having one of those days friends and family had told me about after the loss of a loved one)… Little did I know that Gloria was having that kind of day as well. She met me at the house to pick up a wheelchair we were donating to an organization to help another in need. As the three of us picked up the wheelchair to get it into her car Glowi just started crying uncontrollably. In trying to console her, I began crying and it wasn’t long after that Craig had tears in his eyes. He put his arms around us both, assuring us that Nina is still with us. After looking at each other while Glowi closed the trunk she said, “Sissy look.”I looked up at where she was pointing and this is a sign of love from Nina, our angel that we were blessed and given, that day. A symbol that said, “I love you mom, dad, & Glowi and I am right here watching over you, and I always will…till I see you again.”
Yellow Butterfly Symbol… They say that Our Heavenly Father allows our loved ones that have gone to heaven to come through the veil. It started after Nina had gone to heaven from time to time when we would be at a point of such unbearable grief a yellow butterfly would come and appear. The first time was at a football game. We were standing in the handicap section where we would always be with our daughter, I started to tear up and a lady was so kind standing next to me and asked why was I crying. I said our daughter went to heaven in September and I just saw a yellow butterfly right where her wheelchair use to be. She hugged me so hard and assured me that my daughter was happy. It wasn’t the first time. When we returned the following weekend, I spotted the same yellow butterfly where her wheelchair use to sit. I was so happy, crying tears of joy, that I felt her near almost as if she was saying, “It’s ok mom, I’ll always be with you.”
Watching over mom… I was on my usual run along the seawall with Christian and Craig. I wasn’t really up to it, but just wanted to get out in the sunshine. I hadn’t been sleeping and fatigue had set in from crying and missing my daughter. I started as I always do, walking first, but felt bad and my vision began to blur. I felt sluggish, so I started to turn around and head back to the car. I had leaned up against the front of the bumper waiting for Craig & Christian, I sent a text telling them I didn’t feel good and not to look for me, that I would be ok and I would see them when they were done. When I finished the text I just started crying and was dizzy. I was looking out over the gulf waters asking if I could just go home to heaven, I wanted to be with her so bad my aching mom heart was longing to hold her to see her and make sure she was safe and happy. As I sat there just waiting and wondering if this was it, my time to go to end this journey, suddenly my precious son ran so fast towards me yelling, “Mom!” and knelt down by me and took my hand to help me up. At that moment a yellow butterfly had flown away from the side of the car. I could barely get the words out and said, “Christian did you see that did you see the yellow butterfly?” With tears in his eyes, he said, “Yes mom, I did …she was watching over you till I got here to take care of you.” She helped me realize as much as I long to be with her and Our Heavenly Father that my journey was not over that this journey of being with my loving family was a gift I have been given and that I should be thankful for all He continues to bless me with every single moment of my precious life. That moment was life-changing…
Strokes of love for his sister… After Christian had taken the image of the beautiful angel cloud that had appeared that day little did we know that it would become the symbol of guidance and hope for Christina’s foundation. That next morning he began to draw on his tablet. The stokes just started to appear one right after the other. He had drawn the most beautiful yet simplistic image of an angel in the shape of a cloud. That was it, the logo that would represent her foundation done with his amazing love throughout her entire life, his unconditional love for his sister.
The morning Craig was to leave for Austin, I asked Christian, “Please, can you draw a yellow butterfly in the extended wing of the angel like the angel is holding the yellow butterfly, guiding it like sissy’s foundation will do?” He said, “Sure.” After he did we printed it out, gave it to Craig and said, “Take a look at this and see what you think about adding it to the logo because Nina has appeared around us as a yellow butterfly.” So he took it and was on his way.
Watching over dad…Craig had gone to a meeting that was set up by officials in Austin to get things resolved on a very important issue that involved our family. He waited patiently for two days and then he was turned away with no explanation. It was so late when he called, I begged him to please stay, I didn’t want him to drive home especially the way he sounded. I could tell he was saddened and disappointed by the treatment he had received trying to work this out for the past six months. He insisted he would not stay and would be fine to drive home. He said he was stopping at McDonald’s for a coffee and then he would be on his way. I started crying after we hung up the phone and talking to Nina asking her to please watch over daddy because he was sad and it was going to be a long lonely drive home. When he got back in the car he immediately called me after he sent a picture. It was of a yellow butterfly on the passenger side window. We were both in tears and I told him I had asked her to watch over you because I was worried. I said to Craig that she was telling him that, “It will be ok dad and I am here to be with you.” I ran upstairs to show Christian and my nephew Brandon who couldn’t believe what they had seen. Faith is an amazing gift…. Where would we be without it?